Beading Bloopers!

Sometimes beads can get you into a pickle. And sometimes its funny…. And sometimes, not! But none the less, here are some stories from my readers that were e-mailed to me, and they’re too fun not to share.

Oh, I thought you said BEADS

Maribelle Howciezke is a fellow friend and beader that I met years ago at a ladies bead night. She’s accused by friends and family on a regular basis of having beads on the brain. On one particular week, she proved her accusers true. Monday her hubby called and asked her to stop on the way home and pick up a case of beer at the store. Maribelle showed up at home with a case. For BEADS. Her hubby asked where his beer was, and Maribelle’s confusion about why her husband would want a bead case to begin with became clear! He just shook his head at her.On Wednesday, her friend Nicole asked if she wanted to come hang out with her family and relax, to listen to some music and eat and maybe do some reading. Nicole manages a book store and often shares her free readers copies with friends and family. So Maribelle packed up her beads expecting to hang out and do some beading. Only it wasn’t beading, it was reading. Oops.

On Friday afternoon her son came home from 1st grade and told her that he had homework for the weekend: do at least 3 good deeds with another family member and be prepared to share with the class on Monday. So Maribelle was excited about this one! She helped her son make 3 really awesome beads out of paper mache and then painted and decorated them, and even created necklaces out of them! The following Monday her son came home from school with a note from the teacher. “Loved the beads. However, in order for Aiden to complete the homework assignment, he’ll need to complete 3 good DEEDS before Wednesday.” 

On Sunday her friend wanted to know what Maribelle needed to have her bring to an evening bar-b-que. She asked, “What do you need?” and Maribelle went on to explain what she was currently beading. Her friend said, “No… not what do you BEAD. What do you NEED for the bar-b-que?” Her family was right. She’s a bead brain.

Put this in your contest and judge it!

To say that Lucy Mercado is competitive is the understatement of the millennium. She’s bursting to join any contest and win! And then gloat about it to her friends to the point of ridiculum. She’s a self admitted contest-a-holic! So naturally her ears honed in to eavesdrop on a couple of beader friends sitting across from her during a bead class. They were chatting about a bead contest at another local bead store, and they were discussing techniques for what they wanted to do, and taunting each other about how they’d outdo each other’s entry. Good old beady trash talk. All Lucy needed to know was the theme. She waited all class long for one of them to drop a hint as to what it was. Finally, one said, “Anyone can bead monster.”

The next morning Lucy called the bead store to find out the deadline for the contest. It never occurred to her to check on the theme for the contest. And not only that, but the two beaders she had overheard the previous night know that their friend Lucy is frothing at the mouth when it comes to contests, so they had totally yanked her chain! The theme wasn’t about monsters, it was fairies. Little delicate fairies.

For 3 months, Lucy worked on a 3 dimensional, snarling, hairy monster, shimmering with purple seed beads and cabs and crystals. It had a huge open mouth that was swallowing up a little beaded person. Very kitschy, odd and peculiar in a fun, sparkling and twisted way. Bead humor. Little did she know the joke was about to be on her.

On the evening of the unveiling, Lucy arrived first with her entry. She was told that all entries would go into the back and be covered with a piece of linen, and then unveiled in a random order one at a time. She handed over her monster and then joined the crowd of fellow participators in the shop for hor d’oerves and chit chat. When her two friends arrived, it was all finger-pointing and laughing since Lucy had never mentioned that she’s be entering this contest. Lucy really thought she had out-beaded them.

At 6 pm the announcement was made that the big unveiling was about to begin. There were 18 submissions in the gallery, each draped with a piece of colorful cloth to hide them. The shop owner held a basket full of the participants names, and she said she would randomly be drawing a name and then the artist could unveil their piece and have a small amount of time to talk about it. Little did Lucy know that her two bead friends had approached the shop owner days before, and they had this rigged. The first name pulled out….. Lucy! What a shocker!

Lucy very smugly whipped the cloth off her piece, and reveled in the gasps and laughter of the crowd. She caught eyes with her friends and instead of chatting about her piece, decided to do a happy dance, hopping from foot to foot around in a circle, her hips shaking and her arms swinging over her head, singing a little Nyah-Nyah song. The crowd was mental!

Then it was someone else’s turn to unveil their piece. Whoosh! A teensy-weensy beaded fairy, in all its miniature, delicate and dainty splendor, was perched upon a miniscule mushroom. Lucy scowled and looked at the beader, who was enjoying her own round of applause and admiration from the crowd. The next was a small fairy laying on its belly, draped across a bitty flower. Lucy became suspicious. She looked at her two friends. They were busy oohing and aahing.

Last but not least it was Lucy’s two friends turn to unveil, and they did it together. A sweep of the cloth and two little figures were revealed: a pair of delicate, adorable, miniature fairy monsters. The place burst into uproarious laughter and cheering! Lucy learned a lesson, and was first in line to pick up the flyer for the next challenge… with her friends right behind her!

“What did I learn? To never trust those two bead b*tches! Har! Har!”  ~Lucy