Dear Beady, is it true?? I heard that Andy Warhol used to wear women’s jewelry and beadwork under his clothing. My husband likes to wear my Dad’s silver chain with a peace sign charm under his t-shirt. Should I be worried? Is he going to start asking to borrow my spiral rope lariat next? Please advise. ~ Donna in Darien, CT

Dear Donna, fear not! Yes, I admit that Andy Warhol liked to wear ladies jewels. He had quite an impressive collection, too. And he didn’t hide it, he just wore it that way. Here’s a quote from The Philosophy of Andy Warhol written by himself: “Jewelry doesn’t make a person more beautiful, but it makes a person feel more beautiful.” Here’s another:

Dear Beady, I’m making Halloween costumes for my pets. So far, my cat Tabitha is wearing a tiny witch hat with a beaded spider on it and my guinea pig Hazel is wearing a sequin disco belt. What to do for Diva, my albino boa? She’s a glam girl. Help! ~ Rochelle in Bangor, ME

Dear Rochelle, I have just the idea! Darling, get out your Swarovski flat-backs, and glue a little pattern on her! Use a microscopic dot of super glue. It won’t hurt her. Doctors are using it to glue cuts together on people, so I don’t think it would be a problem. In fact, she’ll eventually shed them off. While you’re at it, glue a few to yourself, too! Oh, and by the way, did you know that Ancient Egyptians used to make jewelry for their pet alligators? I read it in Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader. :-)

Dear Beady, I have a problem. Whenever I finish a beaded bracelet I show it to my sister who’s my biggest fan. Sure enough, she asks me to try it on and then runs like the dickens. The bracelet? Gone forever. What to do? ~ Deb in Sunny, CA

Dear Deb, I think you only have three options. 1) Convince your Mom to put your sister up for adoption. 2) Stop beading. Never mind. This is a horrible option. 3) Make two of everything. I’d go with the last one.

Dear Beady? Is it too late? Here it is September and I want to wear my white bead crocheted choker. Its, you know, white. Is this a beading “don’t”? ~ Betty in Beverly Hills, CA

Dear Betty, Yes. Go with the bronzite cabochon pendant. You’ll look marvelous strolling down the sidewalk through crunchy leaves. (As opposed to standing out like a seagull at a Christmas fair.)

Dear Beady, tell me the truth. Do you agree that it’s a great idea to give simple children’s bead kits instead of candy on Halloween? They’d have instructions on how to make a simple bracelet and no needles or anything. Totally safe. ~ Hilde in Salem, MA

Dear Hilde, If I tried to do that in my neighborhood the little goblins would come back and toilet paper my trees. I’d say if you want to give out beads for Halloween, let it be candy bead necklaces. That’s safer.

Dear Beady,  My husband insisted on getting a masculine diaper bag to carry while he helps with our 6 month old daughter. I, however, feel a brown bag isn’t very suitable for her or myself. Any bling ideas to soften it up a bit? ~ Ida in Shreveport

Dear Ida, Just the thing! Simply make a few separate fringes of pink crystal dripping from lampwork or pearls, and hand them from a lobster clasp. Then you can embellish the bag whenever you girls hit the town together! If Dad finds them too girly, then he can remove them. Best to teach your daughter about bling right away. You’re never too young!

Dear Beady, will you marry me?  How about October? ~ Donald Delica, your biggest fan.

Dear Donald, Sorry, but I’ll be at the Whole Bead Show in New York. Perhaps in the Spring sometime in between Tucson and Bead & Button. I’ll get back to you.

Dear Beady, I’m allergic to all metals and most jewelry just irritates me. I long to adorn myself  in more ways than just wearing beads on my clothing. Any ideas?  ~ Clara in Birminham

Dear Clara, Yes! Get a fabulous beady tattoo!! I have one. It’s a winding double swirl of chain and Bali silver beads undulating around my left wrist. I once had a special bracelet just like it, but it got run over by a bus. Now I can enjoy it forever and never fear losing it!

That’s all for now, sweet bead friends! Bodacious beading to you all!

All advise administered gently by Beady Fictitious, the cartoon character pictured above. If you’d like to send your questions, concerns and comments to beady, please do so! She welcomes them with gusto!